[At Bilbo's 111th Birthday] Merry: "Omg, I pwn" Pippin: "Sif, I pwn" **Rocket goes off Gandalf: "Pwned!" Bilbo: "This = shiz, bai foos" Bilbo has left the server Frodo: "***!?" [later, in Bag End] Gandalf: "Give teh ringz0r to Frodo" Bilbo: "Sif! It r precious!" Gandalf: "STFU NOOB!!!" Bilbo: "ok" Gandalf has logged on as admin Bilbo has been kicked from The Shire **Later Gandalf: "Show me teh ring, foo!" **Gandalf rides out, does some research, comes back Gandalf: "OMGZ, it R teh ring!" Frodo: "***?" Gandalf has logged on as admin Frodo has been kicked from The Shire Sam has been kicked from The Shire [At Isengard] Gandalf: "sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!" Saruman: "Foo! U R teh noob!" Gandalf: "***?!" Saruman: "Sauron pwns joo!" Gandalf: "Sif, I R leet" **Sarumon beats the **** out of Gandalf Saruman: "Pwned!" [on the road to Bree] Merry: "look foos, shrooms!" Pippin: "Woot! Shrooms!" Frodo: "Ph34r!" Sam: "Shrooms!" Frodo: "PH34R!1!1" **black rider stops, sniffs, goes past Frodo: "OMG, packetloss!" [Bree, in the Inn of the Prancing Pony] **Frodo is drinking and dancing on a table, then slips Frodo has left the server Frodo has connected to the server Frodo: "OMGz, dc'd" Aragorn: "OMG, noobz" [at Weathertop] Merry: "Mmm, shrooms!" **MERRY IS BROADCASTING HIS IP ADDRESS!!! Frodo: "Foos! Ph34r teh haxorz" **the black riders attack Merry: "OMG!!!" Sam: "O.M.G!!!11" Pippin: "***" Frodo has left the server **head nazgul stabs Frodo's ghost Frodo has connected to the server Frodo: "***... hax!" **Aragorn lraps into the fray with a flaming brand Aragorn: "PH34r!!!!!!" Merry: "LOLOL flamed! " [on the road to Rivendell] Aragorn: "ZOMG!Arwen!" **Arwen rides up Aragorn: "A/S/L? Wanna net secks?" Arwen: "Sif! *** is up with Frodo?" Sam: "teh leet Hax0r " Arwen: "Firewall?" **Arwen rides off with Frodo, the nazgul give chase. Arwen crosses the ford at Rivendell. Arwen: "PH34R!! My dad pwns urs!" **nazgul start to cross Arwen: "LOLOLOLO noobs!!1!" **the ford rises up and washes the nazgul away Warning: Connection Problems Detected nazgul has disconnected nazgul has disconnected nazgul has disconnected nazgul has disconnected nazgul has disconnected nazgul has disconnected nazgul has disconnected Arwen: "Pwnt" [at the Council of Elrond] Gimli: "dwarves pwn!" Legolas: "Sif, Elves pwn!" Boromir: "OLOLOL noobs, men pwn!" Elrond: "STFU tards!!1!" **Frodo puts the ring on the plinth Gimili: "Sif ring pwns all!" **Gimli swings his axe at it, which shatters Elrond: "**sigh, noob" [Frodo meets up with Bilbo] Bilbo: "OLOL, me = 10th level thief!" Frodo: "OMG, u r teh pwn!" Bilbo: "Do u still have teh ringz0r?" **Frodo shows Bilbo the One Ring Bilbo: "OMG u tard, I want to TK you!" Frodo: "sif!" Bilbo: "ph34r my mithril" [The Fellowship leaves Rivendell] **Gandalf leads the fellowship through the mountains Legolas: "ZOMG, leet gfx!" Gimli: "I R dropping frames! FFS" **There's an avalanche which threatens to knock them off the shelf Gimli: "Gandalf, teh draw distance is too far!1!!1" Gandalf: "**Sigh. Moria?" Gimli votes to change map to Moria Votes 4 of 4 required Legolas: "lolol Gimli, time to upgrade!" [The fellowship approaches the gates of Moria] Gandalf: "FFS, its too hard! Anyone got a walkthrough?" **The gates of Mordor open, but the Guardian attacks! Frodo: "OMG! ph34r!" Boromir: "GL HF" Aragorn [broadsword] guardian Legolas [arrow] guardian Gandalf: "gg" [The fellowship enters the mines of Moria] Gimli: "OMG!!!! PWNED!" **After travelling some time in the dark the Fellowship come to a chamber with a large well Gandalf: "teh bookz0r has some clues!" **Merry knocks a skeleton in armour down the well Gandalf: "OMG! noob!" Merry: "d'oh" **The fellowship hears the ork drums Boromir: "***?" Aragorn: "***?" Frodo: "..." Gandalf: "Oh ffs >.<" **the fellowhip shores up the doors as the orks come Boromir: "TEAMS FFS!" Aragorn [broadsword] ork Gimli [axe] ork Legolas [arrow] ork Aragorn [broadsword] ork Aragorn [broadsword] ork Boromir [broadsword] ork Gimli [axe] ork Gimli [axe] ork ork: "OMG! h4x!" Gimli: "pwned"! Legolas [arrow] ork Legolas [arrow] ork Legolas: "lol!!" Boromir [broadsword] ork Gimli [axe] ork Gimli: "Foos!" Legolas [arrow] ork ork: "ffs, wallhax!" **The cavetroll enters the chambers destroying the doors Gandalf: "Oh ffs!" Boromir: "Omg, its teh boss!" Aragorn: "Sif noob, we're not at teh end yet!" **Cavetroll slams Boromir and Aragorn out of the way, and then skewers Frodo Sam: "OMG!" Gandalf: "OMG!" Aragorn: "omg, pwn!" **Legolas jumps on the cavetroll and shoots arrows down into its head Legolas [arrow] cavetroll Ork: "OMG! PWNED!" Gimli: "LOLOOLOL! noobs" **The fellowship then runs through Moria, chased the whole way by a horde of orks Boromir: "FFS! Teams, foos!" **A flaming shadow starts to follow them, and the orks withdraw Aragorn: "Now THIS is teh boss!" Gandalf: "OMG!" **The fellowship take to long flights of stairs that are starting to crumble and fall. Orks shoot at them with arrows. Legolas: "LOL, noobs. Chex0r this out!1!" Legolas [arrow] ork Legolas [arrow] ork ork: "AIMBOT!" ork: "turn it off!" Legolas: "lolol!" **The fellowship crosses a bridge, Gandalf stops to confront the balrog Gandalf: "joo shall not pass!" Balrog: "***?" Gandalf: "JOO SHALL NOT PASS!" Balrog: "Sif, noob" **Gandalf strikes the bridge with his staff, cracking it and causing it to break under the Balrog's weight Balrog: "ZOMG! PWNED!" Frodo: "OMG! Gandalf!" **The Balrog falls and in a last act of defiance strikes out with its whip, entangling Gandalf Gandalf: "D'oh" Frodo: "OMG, joo foo!" Gandalf: "fly u foos, fly!" **Gandalf lets go and follows the Balrog into the crevass Gandalf has left the server Balrog has disconnected [After escaping Moria the fellowship finds itself in Loth Lorien] **The fellowship rests, and in the night Frodo speaks with Galadriel Galadriel: "For a noob, u r teh leet!" Frodo: "Sif. I don't want teh ringz0r. Do u want teh ringz0r?" Galadriel: "******! SIF I want teh ringz0r. I have enough h4x of my own!1" [The fellowship leaves Loth Lorien and sets out via river] Saurman: "ph34r my army of uruk hai! Go outz0r, find teh hobbitz and pwnz0r them!" uruk hai: "leet!" [stopping at the banks of the river, the Fellowship sets up camp] **Frodo goes off looking for firewood, Boromir follows and confronts him Boromir: "Gimmie teh ringz0r so ** hax can fight teh boss!" Frodo: "Sif, foo. Punkbuster will pwn joo!" Boromir: "Naw, we play on non-pb servers" Frodo: "STFU noob" Frodo has left the server Boromir: "***! FRODO! Bring teh ringz0r back, faghat!" **A group of Uruk Hai encounter Boromir Boromir: "OH FFS, TEAMS!!" Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir Boromir: "****ing campers" **Aragorn comes across the battle Aragorn: "Boromir joo noob! ***!" Uruk Hai: "Hah, pwn!" Aragorn [broadsword] Uruk Hai Aragorn: "I bring joo teh pwn!" **Aragorn goes to Boromir Boromir: "Damn lag!" Warning: Connection problems detected Boromir has disconnected Aragorn: "FFS!" [Frodo returns to the bank of the river where he gets into a boat. Sam 'sees' him] Sam: "Frodo! ***! Invisibility h4x!" Frodo has connected to the server Frodo: "Sam, STFU and FOAD!" Sam: "Sif!" Frodo: "Oh, ffs n00b!" 3Nd!!!!11